Rating | 4🌟 for the Romance BUT downgraded to a 2.5 for the "spice" content

Let me explain... 

Firstly, TW | Rough Sex, Anal Sex, Scenes that could trigger memories of being in a controlling relationship or even r@pe.

 

Okay, I think, tbh that my trigger warnings explain for me why I am torn how to rate this book and why I would downgrade the rating to a 2.5 from a 4 based on the content deemed "spice". For me, and no doubt for a lot of women out there, those "spicy scenes" that were passed off as being 'rough' are highly triggering. 

For me, I had to severely skim the last part of the book because the scenes were TOO much. I've never actually read a "romance" novel that contained anal intimacy, and frankly it was too far, in my opinion. 

The romance of this book (when all sexual scenes are taken out), is absolutely lovely, and I thoroughly enjoyed that part. I was actually really loving the book until that first scene, and then the ones that seemed to follow quite frequently afterwards. 

I enjoyed the storyline, the family dynamics, the friendships and even the little teasers of more books to come by the other characters relationships and their dynamics being played out softly in the book. 

I am hoping for the next book to be just as lovely and enjoyable romance wise, and to be really a lot less spicy. I'm not a prude, but I am a woman who's been in a relationship with a man who was exactly like Walker, and trust me, it didn't end in a happily ever after, it ended with me realising I'd been in an abusive, controlling relationship, and has left me with much healing to be done.

Holding a woman around the throat and making her gasp for air is NOT sexy or a turn on, maybe for the few, but not for the masses of women who will likely be reading this book for an escape (like I was), and hoping to have their hearts heal and gather some hope in romance. In fact, rather than "sexy", not being able to breathe, having your throat squeezed so that you are gasping and swallowing for any grain or air you can get is frightening as hell! 

Maybe, include a page of trigger warnings in books like these with the key features? And maybe even go further and develop some sort of key/code/sticker to be placed on the books to warn readers? Publisher's and authors, please I ask you, I plead with you to please remember, sometimes the readers of your books are reading to escape their reality, they are reading to find some hope, some freedom, some comfort and happiness, and will find it really emotionally and mentally difficult to read some scenes in books and it can take them right back to a scary and painful moment. 

For me personally, it made me question my experience and made me think I was in the wrong and that actually, maybe all I'd experienced was "rough and passionate romance". Thankfully, I have a really good friend who I spoke to immediately about this and was able to have my fears listened to and also my experience to be justified and believed, and my truth reinforced and reflected back to me. Not every woman has that privilege or safety zone of a friend. 

Let's make it safe for women who need protecting! We have to step up our game. We have to.